i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
