Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
