turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
