Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
