My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
