Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
