i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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