fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize