Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
