oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
