please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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