The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
