having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she told me i tasted like america
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm really busy with my period
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