on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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