Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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