Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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