I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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