Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
This is classic penis vs brain.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
