I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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