his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
