I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
