I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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