she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
