I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
