I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
