i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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