So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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