Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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