He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
