Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize