He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
