Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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