You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
why do cheetos always look like penises
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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