You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
