know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize