she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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