ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
