VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
