he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
