How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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