i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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