We're like a lot better than the average bears
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
