My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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