No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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