Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
