she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
