You're my little dorito
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
