It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
