youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize
