he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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