I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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