"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
