help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
