Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
