I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize