I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
