Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
