I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
When did angry sex become our thing?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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