i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize