so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
