He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
