Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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